When God created me he put a special kind of love in my heart and a yearning to be a mother. It's what makes me the most happiest and brings me loads of joy. I feel like I'm doing a good job and that God is proud of me as a mom. When I teach the babies at church I feel like God is smiling down on me saying "good job Jess. You were made for this and I am proud of you." It seems like a simple task, being a mother, but it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I've learned much about myself..my limits and putting others before myself. It's not easy and some days I am tested and stretched so thin I feel like breaking and then my kids smile at me and tell me that they love me and my love cup replenishes and is full again without a single thought of all the hard times the morning held. They look at me with love in their eyes and reach their little hands up to me to hold them and no matter how tall or big they get I still reach down and pick them up and hold them as long as they need. Often I find myself with both babies on my lap resting their heads on me and it's the best feeling in the world. When I am holding them I am in my happy place. They are my happy place and baby Jovi is the icing on the cake. I get to do this all over again and I feel like the most blessed woman in the world. 3 babies to call my own??? How in the world did I get so lucky?I am the first to say though that I wouldn't be the mother I am today without having the mother I have. She taught me everything about being a good mommy. She is a good mommy and would lay with us and hold us and laugh and be silly all day long. I remember applying her makeup on summer days and doing her hair exactly how I wanted and she would tell me how much she loved it. I still long for her hugs and feel so good when she is proud of me. That is something I don't think ever goes away. Being a mom isn't something that ever stops..even when your kids are grown. She tells me that she still worries and thinks of us and prays for us every single day. I know the same will be for me but I am so thankful that mine are still small and I can embrace them any time I want.
They sometimes crawl into our bed at night and I welcome them. They snuggle their little bodies up as close as they can and we become one person. I wake and I am on the edge of the bed with no covers but I roll over and see the most beautiful faces and snuggle them closer.
Motherhood is everything I thought it would be and so much more.
Another person I am forever grateful for is my beautiful husband. My Justin. I can guarantee you that I wouldn't be the mom I am today without his support and presence. I feel sorry for those moms who have to do it all alone because I don't know what that's like. Justin has been my partner in this since day 1. I have never felt alone in parenting the kids. He makes breakfast, cleans, wipes tears, cuddles, drives the kids from here to there, plays, gardens and anything else that is needed and does it all joyfully without complaint. I know of nothing else except complete partnership with him. I know I am lucky..very lucky to have his love.
Motherhood is not easy but because of my own mother and the love of my husband, I know I can do it and do it well.
I am so excited for baby Jovi James to be born but I absolutely LOVE being pregnant with her. I am being showered with love from my family and I feel so special.
I love being a mommy. I can't wait to do it x3!
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